Today is the day I am supposed to hear if I got my -- sort of -- old job.  I am not feeling positive (I figure if I got it I'd have heard before today).

I am feeling the old depression coming on.  How many times can a person hear that they didn't make the cut before it starts to become a part of the person?  Why is it so difficult for me to land a position?  At what point do I cut and run?  How bad a teacher am I?  What are schools looking for??

I suppose if we were in a better place financially I'd be better able to handle this.  But we're not and I'm not.

Granted, I did NOT get told that I did NOT get the job either.  Still, if I can't get my old job back what does that say about me?

Job hunting is exhausting and, for me, demeaning.

I just want to enjoy my summer.