I am so tired tonight. Let's hope I can get some sleep without the neighbors having a knock-down, drag-out fight -- should I call the cops or no -- though I do find the argument to be interesting in its absence of merit.

Really, though, I was beat today as a result of the neighbors waking me up at 2am and then trying, after hearing them fight for an hour, to get back to sleep. I did get back to sleep but that just made the alarm clock all the more dreadful. After dealing with freshman who are rude and obnoxious all day, the last thing I felt like doing was going to the gym. But I had to. I had an appointment with a personal trainer to help me get it together.

So, I went to the gym, got my plan, and ran the track. And I felt regenerated. I was actually able to go home and grade papers without having any caffeine to keep me afloat (and too bad the essays I graded did not help my spirit). Obviously we'll see how I feel tomorrow. Still, it was good to burn some calories.

Let's hope I get back to the gym soon.

I'm off to bed.

Working in a punitive place is really wearing me down.

Two weeks ago I caught shit because I did not submit my ineligibility list on time. The following week I got an email from the woman in charge of the ineligibility lists that had the following message:

DUE FRIDAY AT NOON

DUE FRIDAY AT NOON

DUE FRIDAY AT NOON

Okay, I get the message. But, like, can't you been understanding of a teacher who makes one mistake. I would get it if I had been habitually late. I was late ONCE.

I don't really understand how the system works when students are withdrawn from the school. No one actually contacts me, but apparently I've been screwing that up too because I get emails from my supervising administrator telling me to do the paperwork for the withdrawn students. While I realize I have to do my job, I don't understand why the woman in charge of the withdraw paperwork can't contact me herself -- why rat me out to my boss? Further, if someone who is new to the school keeps having trouble doing what you want done when you want it done, why not ask if there's anything they don't understand??

I feel put upon. A couple weeks ago I had to give up my free period for testing. I have to do it again in a couple weeks only instead of giving up one period, I'll be giving up 3. Funny how I don't see the other teachers being put upon. Actually, there's a word for this: HAZING. I don't like it.

Maybe there's a job in NYC I can scoop up while I'm home for Christmas. Because, really, I'm not sure I'm going to get through this year.

I feel so cranky when I come home from work. It's really not a good place to be especially when I deal with children. why is it that some kids just feel the need to get under my skin? Ugh.

Anyway, I have begun thinking about the annual Christmas card. Usually by this time I have a picture of the kids at the ready. Not so this year. I am putting together a collage card -- the best of the best and all of us will be represented.

Case in point: Julia's picture. Pure happiness. Shouldn't everyone see that joy?

I could sure use some today.

Education in America is in the crapper. We allow kids to get away with murder and we remove any power a classroom teacher may have. To make matters worse, we allow lazy, under inspired teachers to be in a classroom.

Reform?

Teach for America seems like a scam to me because it doesn't recognize that there are some experienced teachers out there who can do the job and do it well. Everything I learned in school and in the classroom indicates that the best teachers are those who are intelligent in their jobs, experienced and well-supported. Throwing unexperienced 21 year olds in a class of kids who could care less because they have been treated poorly and have not been given a fair shake doesn't seem to be the fix either.

Now we could go after teacher's unions. They are responsible for the teacher attitude of "I don't have to do that" as in, "I don't have to go to my student's concert because it's not in my job description." Really? Shouldn't teachers be interested in the growth of their students. I know I appreciate seeing another side to my students. More importantly, they enjoy knowing that I've seen their talent outside the classroom. This was true even in private school where it was mandatory to attend concerts and such. However, teacher's unions don't make bad teachers; they make mediocre teachers lazy and then bad. Good teachers are good teachers regardless of the system they're in.

Lack of funding seems like the biggest flaw in reform. Throwing more money at schools will not make them better. Paying lazy teacher more money will not make them less lazy. Giving students who need glasses and a some real food a new computer won't make them math geniuses. Professional development is a joke and many teachers only attend because they have to. Very rarely do I see teachers return from any conference charged like I returned from the NCTE conference four years ago. Schools don't want to send teachers to the conferences that are meaningful either. When I interviewed this summer, one administrator gave me grief because I asked if the school would allow me to go to a conference on what's new in young adult literature. God forbid I want to know about what might work for students!!!

The lack of discipline is killing education. Kids are not responsible for their work. Parents attack teachers when their child fails because they automatically assume their child actually did the work. Schools force teachers to accept late work. Students don't have to give up precious lunch time to use the restroom; they can just leave the classroom. Seriously, when did you ever sit in a class and have to go so badly that you pitched a fit? For me, never. And, I never used the time-of-the-month excuse either -- ever.

I have a co-worker who is considering leaving teaching because he's tired of the crap. I am getting that way too.

Deadlines are killing me.

But what really bothers me is that the deadlines I thought I was meeting are moving closer to me. When I started at the school I knew I had to do about 9 online courses. You know, Identifying Harassment; Bloodborne Pathogens; Creating the Safe Work Environment. These courses are -- well, actually, were initially due on Oct. 21. then I got an email from my immediate supervisor a couple weeks back. She said the courses were due on the 19th. Today? This afternoon I received an email from my supervisor saying I had to be done by tomorrow -- the 18th. Seriously, that's just ridiculous. I did the work, but I'm still annoyed.

Another looming deadline -- grades.

Everyone here crows about the merits of Nevada Day. Yay! I get a three day weekend. But wait, I have to do the end of the quarter grades. Again, seriously???? I'd rather have had Columbus day off and no Nevada day off. A day off to do work just seems not like a day off. I should have made arrangements to go home for a long weekend instead of this silliness.

I am really disliking my job this year. Is it me or the system?

Did you ever see people line up at the baggage carousel at the airport? What a bunch of impatient pests! REally, if I am waiting for my luggage, get out of my way when I walk forward to grab it. Is there any reason for people to be in the way? NO!!!

Let's give each other space.

Another rough night with the loud neighbors.

At 2:30 I got up to call the service my apartment uses for such incidents. The problem, however, is that the service does not work for this property alone. In fact, the guy was in Henderson, NV -- an easy 40 minutes from here. Since my neighbor uses his patio as a smoking lounge, he and his friends are not there all the time. They just go out, have a smoke, and head back inside. It's really important that I get sleep. Getting woken up more than once in an evening is very annoying. Getting woken up several times since I've lived here by the same neighbors is inexcusable.

Is there anything I can do?

For starters, I am going to write a letter to the management of this property and let them know the service they've used to cover their asses doesn't work. (Incidentally, when I called to make the complaint, the guy said he'd already been at the property earlier in the evening.) I will simply continue to be the squeaky wheel here and hope the neighbors move soon. Aside from that, is there anything else I can do?

I also have an issue with bugs in this apartment. I'm currently vexed by tiny hopping bugs similar to no-see-ums we have in NY. They are all over the place in my office. I guess they like paper. I don't like them. Another complaint.

I wish we had assigned parking here. It seems that the row of covered parking where I park my car is the most popular row in the entire complex. Seriously? So, if I go out at night, there's no place to park near my apartment. Ugh.

And I still have nine months to live here in the dreadful desert.