Should I stay or should I go?

I still cannot make up my mind. I suppose one could say I am suffering or experiencing a mid-life crisis. I want to get away and find a new place to grow as I feel stagnant here. This stagnation isn't new either. It's really been present every year I've lived in the northeast.

Still, I can't go yet either. First of all, I need some red tape handled. If I don't have Nevada certification in hand, I simply cannot get a job in Nevada. Is that a dream busted or simply deferred?

I feel sort of angry at those who say, "I don't like this idea." Is it theirs to like? It might be a mistake. But it's for me to decide. I have been graced with a family that is willing to go along for the ride and let me leave. I need to take the bull by the horns.

'Tis the season for new job postings, but there are really not many opportunities. With each application, I wonder what the school is looking for or who they already have in mind. This is very difficult and easy to lose hope when the real opportunities are no where to be found.

And yet, Teach for America is getting jobs for kids who do not have certification or any experience. What is that about??? This desire to heap the blame of poor public education on the teaching institutions seems unfounded. When I was getting my master's degree, I learned some very useful information and techniques that would be great to apply to the classroom. In fact, we were urged to use the current body of research to inform our practice. Sadly, many of the public school teachers were complaining that they couldn't use these ideas because they had to focus on the standardized tests. The fact that one does not need to negate the other was completely overlooked. You can use new techniques to teach the same material.

What is hurting American education? Apathy, teacher unions unwilling to neaten their ranks, standardize tests that teach to the bottom of the pile, boredom. How many times have you heard teachers say they don't get paid enough? Money -- or lack of pay -- isn't the problem. When you choose to work in the public sector, that means you don't get paid tons of cash. While teachers want to be treated as "professionals" they don't act like professionals. Many do not subscribe to trade publications nor are they members of professional organizations. How can they then call themselves professionals when they don't even know what is happening in their field? In my district, teachers have been teaching the same thing (say 4th grade) for the entire duration of their time in the district. Really, how sharp do we expect teachers to be when they do the same thing year in and year out. There is no way to keep it fresh. I used to get asked why I'd opt to remove To Kill a Mockingbird from the reading list. My answer: I've gotten sick of it. If the teacher is sick of it, how could we expect students to see its miracle? School districts need to move things around and shake it up. Yes, experience can make a better teacher, but it can also make a bored one. A bored teacher, one who doesn't need to do any prep, should not be paid more than the teacher who is working diligently to match appropriate, interesting material to the students he or she has in the class this year.

It is time for change in American education, but I doubt Teach for America is the answer. We need to scream and shout for more accountability from those who do the job. We need to recognize and applaud those who go above and beyond. We need to demand excellence. We need to teach children at their level and scrap this culture of standardization. Any 9th grader with a 2nd grade reading level will fail. Let's teach them how to read before we ask them to analyze the data.

Finally, let's look for teachers who are professionals; who belong to the organizations that work hard to keep American education on top. It's not impossible. Shake the apathy and move on.

Dieting is no easy task. This is especially true for those who don't eat much. We need to evaluate what exactly is aiding in the pound packing. Don't misunderstand, however, that I fully appreciate the difficulty it is for anyone to lose weight. Healthy food is expensive which is one of the reasons this country is so heavy to begin with.

This past month my body seems to have accepted its fate. That is to say that I don't have a constant hunger. I eschewed the no carb diet in favor of one that simply limits calories. If you can stomach a slim fast shake, they are handy to have around. Limited calories and it's a full meal. For me, the shake does fill me up so I can go without worry. The other success for me has been ingesting fiber (Fiber One cereal packs 57 percent of your daily fiber requirement!!). I know this seems counterintuitive, but it really works.

I have lost 8 pounds in the last 3-4 weeks. I have much more to go but it sure feels nice to pull out the spring clothes and see them fitting. My budget won't allow shopping so it's good to have what I need.

Well, off to breakfast.

I recently had the opportunity to sub in a 5th grade classroom. What fun!! The kids were nice and interested in what I told them to do. Really. They had to silently read for 25 minutes and they did it. They responded well to my questions (what's a good book for a boy who doesn't like to read?) and gave me no grief. Why are the kids in my own district such shits?

Schools everywhere are cutting back. Some good teachers are going to lose their jobs because the old crusty teachers have seniority over them. That really hurts education. Really -- it's time to recognize that the way we keep teachers (and I suspect the way teachers get hired) needs change.

Back in the day, the students in my home district were not bad. They've gotten worse. While the demographics of the community have changed, I believe that if the school were built on a more solid footing of what is important -- core values -- and less focused on popularity and sports ability, then we might see a step in the right direction.

the 5th graders in Garrison seem more grounded by what's really important. Maybe we could learn a thing or two from that community. If we'd care to listen to the lesson....

What is it with allergies? Some people suffer from sneezing and itchy eyes; others suffer with stuffy nose and coughing. Me? I have horrible headaches and, in the fall, laryngitis. today my head aches and there is nothing to take unless I want to go back to bed (not a great idea at 10am).

Why do we have allergies that change? I did not used to be allergic to pollen. Rod used to need shots. Tyler is forever changing. I'm sorry to say, but I think we need some rain to wash away some of this dust to make me feel better (then, of course, those with mold allergies will suffer). Is there no end to this misery?

The cover of the latest Time magazine: "Should Schools Bribe Kids?"

I've not yet read the article but I do have an opinion about the question. The short answer: no. I wonder how we can get back to knowing how necessary education is. I am reading Three Cups of Tea and it's a beautiful book because the Pakistani children were scraping in dirt to get an education. In this country our kids seem to have lost the need for it. Or, the desire. Giving students ipods or laptops will not make them better students. I learned without those things. So did many others. All it encourages is a student body that thinks we need to give it something in order for it to do work.

Alfie Kohn wrote a book called Punished by Rewards. His argument is that we have hurt our students by making them think they should be rewarded for everything. When I worked at the Rockland Country Day School the same idea prevailed at the assembly. Just about every student got a certificate for participation in anything: the 7th grade plant sale, the organic garden, etc. In fact, there was little difference between acknowledging those who led and those to simply participated. Then there were the athletic awards. All athletes received medals. The outstanding players got a speech and a trophy. Those who were outstanding in academics did not receive such prizes.

The educational system in this country is going to hell precisely because we have gotten to the point where we think we need to bribe students.

It's time we started looking at teachers who make a difference in their student's lives and rewarded them. Or, better, got rid of those teachers who do nothing for their students. Just showing up for a paycheck is perhaps the attitude that made students uninterested in learning. Let's correct that before we start doling out bribes to get students to do work.

Now I think I'll read that article.

Tiger Woods is on the green again as the media waits for him to fall. I simply do not understand the vultures that fly above celebrities. We want to love them as we congratulate ourselves for not being them?

Personally, I am not bothered by men or women cheating on each other. Frankly, it's not my business. As long as my husband remains true to me and our marriage, it's all fair. Everyone else has their own issues to deal with. What I don't understand, is this society's desire to see failure in celebrity marriages. It's hard to make a marriage work; it's harder to make it work when everything you do or say is under the microscope. When you live in a fake world, how can you build a real relationship?

As for Tiger's problems with sponsorships, I really do get myself in a kink. The sponsors do not want to be connected with Tiger Woods until he starts winning again. So, I guess the moral of the story is: You may be a lying, cheating bastard as long as you win the big prize. If, however, you are a loser, then everything you do contributes to your down and dirty ways.