I have been 50 for more than a week.  I don't like where I am and need to make change.

The first order of business is to lose weight and inches.  I am downright embarrassed about how I look. When I look at pictures of myself when I was young (about 20 years ago), I am amazed by how thin my legs were.  Goodness.  Who knew?  I did not.  In fact, I was as self-conscious then as I am now (though then I did not worry so much about my clothes since they ALL fit).  So, come the new year it's diet time.  I do not have a goal in mind, I just want all the clothes in my closet to fit well.

The holidays is the worse time to diet so I'm not going to start yet, but I do need to get moving.  That I can do any day.  Starting today I will be walking DAILY.  I would additionally like to start some basic weight training.  Sculpted arms are sexy.

Next, I need to work on my professional life.  Currently I have none and it's making me depressed.  I am also conflicted about my previous profession.  I like teaching but have serious concerns about teaching in general.  We allow kids to get away with so much and ask them to do so little.  Ugh.  It's tiring just thinking about it.  But what else am I going to do?  Well, for starters, I am just going to apply to jobs that are interesting to me.  Today I am filling out an application to work part-time for town hall.  What the hell, if nothing else it'll give me some insight into this nutty town.

Most importantly, I need to find acceptance.  I need to accept who I am but accept others as well.  While my daughter is an awesome person on her terms (and I don't take the credit for it), I need to recognize that my son's issues are his and not a reflection on me as an individual.  He needs something that I don't fully understand yet.  The best I can do for him is be supportive of the good stuff he does, recognize what help I should provide, and be firm when his behavior demands it.  That's all I can do.

So, here we go.  I have a lot on my plate.  It's time to make change.