The good news is that I finally scheduled my mammogram. The sort-of bad news is that I need to bring my previous original film with me. Now, I ask myself, in this day and age of technology you'd think this would be something that I could get at the drop of a hat. At least, I think it would be a very good use of technology. Instead, I have to run up to Newburgh to get the films then bring them with me to my appointment.

It could be worse....

But, what if I'd moved west already. What would I do then? Wait for the film to arrive by mail before I could even schedule the appointment? Women don't like having the procedure done in the first place. I feel this extra is just another hurdle in the road to getting a mammogram. It's time technology stepped up and made my life easier. I need technology in this arena; I don't need another facebook game to get addicted to.

So, I wait. And get an email to perk me up and make me wonder....

Apparently, NYC has received some stimulus money and is now able to hire new teachers: that is, they can hire teachers who are not in the city system. So, I got an email from ms 224 requesting my resume and letters of reference. I've sent those in and now wait for the end of the week when the school decides who to call in for interviews. Weird that I may finally have a chance to stay home but not have the luxury to wait for them to make a decision. Then again, as one of my coffee buddies said, "I'd rather live in Las Vegas than the Bronx." Well, that may happen. Or not.

Well, step one of my journey is actually complete. I received Nevada state certification to teach. Now I just need Las Vegas to follow suit and I'll be able to make the move. I hope it's sooner than later so I can be in my classroom on the first day of school. It's important to set the stage correctly.

As we get closer to the wire, I am beginning to get apprehensive about all the other things I need to do for myself. If I go out there as school is beginning, I be scurrying to find a place, get my classroom set up and figure the lay of the land. Still, all things considered, that would only take a couple days. I have been researching places to live and car dealers. Once I'm out there, I will figure it all out.

I heard from Las Vegas that I have partial clearance. I am not sure what that means but I suspect I will soon be packing my bags for a big adventure out west.

this is going to be difficult. Financially it's not a step forward; however, it does keep us from slipping further down. More importantly, this is an opportunity for me to do what I love to do while allowing me to see who I am and to force myself to depend on no one but myself. Although I am 47, I've never truly cared for just me. I've never even earned enough money to support myself. This is a big change and challenge.

Still, the fact that I don't have it all in order is bothersome. When do I leave? How much will I earn? What will the school be like? How about the weather? One thing I know. the people in Nevada have been so much more helpful and friendly than I experience here. It'll be nice to step away from the hustle of this place even just for a while.

And Rod has a wonderful road trip planned for us when I come back after my first year. Can't wait for the adventure to begin.

There are way too many mean kids out there. I suspect it's because there are too many parents who are unwilling to accept that their child is not perfect. When people -- adults and children -- are not able to accept responsibility for their own shortcomings, we have a very insular public willing only to protect itself.

Since I am a bitch to begin with, I have a tendency to keep my mouth shut when I see mean kids. This causes me to have 20/20 hindsight then I feel like kicking myself for not saying something as was the case today. Back when I was growing up, we knew everyone was watching and everyone had the right to reprimand. That is no longer the case. So, no one takes responsibility for doing something wrong. It's time to make some change.

Perhaps, in the future, I will get myself in line and will call a spade a spade. Damn the consequences.

Should I stay or should I go?

I still cannot make up my mind. I suppose one could say I am suffering or experiencing a mid-life crisis. I want to get away and find a new place to grow as I feel stagnant here. This stagnation isn't new either. It's really been present every year I've lived in the northeast.

Still, I can't go yet either. First of all, I need some red tape handled. If I don't have Nevada certification in hand, I simply cannot get a job in Nevada. Is that a dream busted or simply deferred?

I feel sort of angry at those who say, "I don't like this idea." Is it theirs to like? It might be a mistake. But it's for me to decide. I have been graced with a family that is willing to go along for the ride and let me leave. I need to take the bull by the horns.

'Tis the season for new job postings, but there are really not many opportunities. With each application, I wonder what the school is looking for or who they already have in mind. This is very difficult and easy to lose hope when the real opportunities are no where to be found.

And yet, Teach for America is getting jobs for kids who do not have certification or any experience. What is that about??? This desire to heap the blame of poor public education on the teaching institutions seems unfounded. When I was getting my master's degree, I learned some very useful information and techniques that would be great to apply to the classroom. In fact, we were urged to use the current body of research to inform our practice. Sadly, many of the public school teachers were complaining that they couldn't use these ideas because they had to focus on the standardized tests. The fact that one does not need to negate the other was completely overlooked. You can use new techniques to teach the same material.

What is hurting American education? Apathy, teacher unions unwilling to neaten their ranks, standardize tests that teach to the bottom of the pile, boredom. How many times have you heard teachers say they don't get paid enough? Money -- or lack of pay -- isn't the problem. When you choose to work in the public sector, that means you don't get paid tons of cash. While teachers want to be treated as "professionals" they don't act like professionals. Many do not subscribe to trade publications nor are they members of professional organizations. How can they then call themselves professionals when they don't even know what is happening in their field? In my district, teachers have been teaching the same thing (say 4th grade) for the entire duration of their time in the district. Really, how sharp do we expect teachers to be when they do the same thing year in and year out. There is no way to keep it fresh. I used to get asked why I'd opt to remove To Kill a Mockingbird from the reading list. My answer: I've gotten sick of it. If the teacher is sick of it, how could we expect students to see its miracle? School districts need to move things around and shake it up. Yes, experience can make a better teacher, but it can also make a bored one. A bored teacher, one who doesn't need to do any prep, should not be paid more than the teacher who is working diligently to match appropriate, interesting material to the students he or she has in the class this year.

It is time for change in American education, but I doubt Teach for America is the answer. We need to scream and shout for more accountability from those who do the job. We need to recognize and applaud those who go above and beyond. We need to demand excellence. We need to teach children at their level and scrap this culture of standardization. Any 9th grader with a 2nd grade reading level will fail. Let's teach them how to read before we ask them to analyze the data.

Finally, let's look for teachers who are professionals; who belong to the organizations that work hard to keep American education on top. It's not impossible. Shake the apathy and move on.