Schools know there are kids who cannot read. I want to know why they cannot do something about it. I have seniors in high school failing my English class because they can't read but there is nothing in place to help them learn. If my school is on a fantastic voyage, why isn't anyone checking to see what can help these kids?

the books we give weak students are too hard to read thereby inviting them to fail again. Why is illiteracy a dirty little topic that no one wants to address. Seriously, if a kid can't read, what direction is that kid going to go?

I spend a large part of my day dealing with unruly children. I want them removed so the kids who actually want to learn are in an environment where they can learn. If schools want the students to do better, why don't we halt everything else and teach kids to read? If we don't take the time to do it when we see it needs doing, we're doing nothing but stealing money from tax payer pockets.

It's time to make real change in schools. Let kids learn at their pace. If a kid is in 5th grade with a first grade reading level, focus on improving the reading so he or she can improve instead of making the kid feel dumb all the time. Kids can learn if they are given the tools they need. Some just need time.

What to do when I really don't like a student? What to do when that same student creates a toxic environment in the class? What to do when that student acknowledges that he is a disruption in the class then says that behavior cannot be a part of the grade? What to do about the others who want to learn and have a good learning environment when others in the class impede their learning?

I am stuck.

My gut feeling is that this particular student, based on the evidence he has given me, is weak academically. Nevertheless, he feels that the weakness is mine, not his. As a result, his frustration works its way into the class and creates a feeling of unease within me. I have brought this weakness up to the people around him, but they disregard the issue. They just think the problem is his unwillingness to listen when he is mad. I suspect that is part of the problem. In fact, I suspect that is why this student is a weak student in the first place. He has spent a lot of time angry. By his own admission, he stops listening when he's mad. By his own admission his anger issues have given him trouble in the past. Unfortunately, he is unable to accept his own responsibility in this matter. Until he does, I have a class of students who are not growing.

What to do?

I did something yesterday that I've never done before. I reported the head of my department to our immediate supervisor.

When I was waiting to get clearance from Las Vegas, I tried to get information about the classes I would be teaching so when I arrived in the district, I would be ready. The head of the English department never bothered to get in touch with me. Once I arrived, she did nothing to help me learn the ropes. I feel as though I am supposed to learn from osmosis. When I requested books for the seniors, she told me she would have one of her aides get them for me. So, I gave her the number of books I needed and the aides delivered the books. That was nice. However, when I went to return the books she gave me a bit of grief because I didn't let her know how many books I had taken from the book room. When I indicated that it was her aide who got the books in the first place, she didn't seem to understand how that translated to her prior knowledge.

The English department has no butcher paper that isn't brown. The social studies department has pink, green, white and brown. So, I requested the English dept. head get some white paper. She claimed we couldn't. When I investigated further, I learned that there was plenty of white paper around. Although the paper has not yet been delivered to the English dept. room, I know if I push the issue I will get some. But why does it have to be the new person?

I asked the head of the dept. if there was a midterm. She said no. However, there is a final in January (how fucked up is Nevada that it calls a middle of the year exam a final?). When did I find out? November 1st. Furthermore, I learned that 90% of what was on that exam had to link up with what was on the other World Literature teacher's exams. Isn't November first a little late to convey that information?

Then there's the World Lit. meetings. I was not attending because I did not know they were taking place. Isn't it the department head's job to ensure that I am there? Really, I am just across the hall -- get off your fat ass and get me to the meeting. I just attended my first world lit meeting this past Monday.

So, I feel bad about reporting her, but too bad.

Why is it that teachers who work in a title one school have so much work to do?

I just found out that I have to do progress reports before I leave work tomorrow. Plus, I have a lot of work because I am going home. I just finished writing my lesson plans for next week. For two classes I still need to type them. And, since the travel issues at Thanksgiving cannot be dismissed, I have to leave work and sub plans for Monday in case I don't get back to Nevada in time to get to work. although I leave NY at 6am, I don't know if I'll get to my final destination. (I have a hold-over in Detroit.)

My students have weak skills and even less critical thinking skills. TRanslation: I have to break down every single assignment -- whether it's in class or homework -- to its simplest form. I can't just assign reading; I have to provide a framework in the form of Cornell notes for students to tune into key ideas in the chapter. So, although I've read the book Night several times and taught it, I have more work to do by setting up the notes listing main events in a template for each section of the book. It's just exhausting.

I heard a rumor today that students will be able to attend any school in the district regardless of where they live. So, does that mean that I could be out of a job? If I had my choice, I definitely would leave my school. If there are less students, there will be less need for my presence. We have a mandatory meeting on Tuesday next week to discuss.

the school day ends at 1:30 -- I don't leave until around 4 or 4:30 these days. then I go home and do more work. What am I doing wrong? Am I doing something wrong?

I am not comfortable talking about race issues. I am especially uncomfortable pointing the finger at anyone who I think is racist. Still, I had a parent/teacher conference today that made me feel odd.

So, why this issue with racism? I was the only white person in the room. While that's nothing to even be bothered with, I know that the Dean is anti-white. Well, she is when it comes to Black students. More clearly, she doesn't truly believe that white teachers understand Black students. While that may be true, it doesn't necessarily mean that white teachers cannot do their jobs even if they are in the minority.

Furthermore, I have concerns as an educator that some black administrators don't acknowledge the true issues surrounding the racial gap. My students do not understand subject/verb agreement. If I don't teach them, they honestly won't be going places. Someone sold these kids a bill of goods that's rotten. It's not my fault that my students were given A's for sub-par work. If I am holding them to a higher standard, that doesn't make me a racist; it makes me a teacher. Race issues must be removed from the table and accountability must be put in its place if the racial gap is to be closed. Let's get these kids on the right page and stop giving them false hope when we don't do our jobs.

Telling a kid he can go to college is important. Not preparing him and letting him think he is capable when he's not is just sad.

It is really hard to get students who are seniors, in a class for a passing grade, to buy into anything that's being sold. some feel too dumb to get it; some see no reason to bother; some have never had a positive learning experience and don't feel they'll get one this go around; some just need to make the teacher miserable. In any case, or whichever case, I feel very tired at the end of the day. I wish I could do something to help these kids but I feel incapable of even knowing where to begin. Sure, there are students who are beginning to warm up to me. There are also some kids who, because of the subject matter, are beginning to perk up in class because they have greater background knowledge than their classmates. Still, I feel inept. Gosh I really wish there was an easy way to take measurement of these students so I could find something that works. As it is, I just show up and hope. It's all I've got.

Planning is key when looking to be successful; it's especially so when you have students as unruly as mine.

Case in point: I got help from a veteran teacher (that is a veteran of the school). Two weeks ago she told me to have a structured class. Frankly, I thought I had one. When I met with her again a week later she showed me the extent of her structure. Aha! Showing kids how to read by modeling and doing everything out loud. Working under the assumption that they don't really understand what they read. I suppose you could say it's all dumbed down, but truthfully, it's where these kids are at so I do need to begin from their point of reference not my own. My trouble has been that I didn't know where to begin. I do now.

Since I have begun following Jan's lead, my classes have calmed down considerably. They suspect that I know what I'm doing now. They are also taking notes and participating in class more fully. So, that's what it takes. Lots of planning. But, it's less exhausting on my end in the long run. I spend a lot of time planning lessons in advance, but I can actually see the value in that.

I wonder if I can ever grab a teachable moment? Spontaneity doesn't seem to be allowed.

I can't believe I've only been here a month. This place is really dumpy. And, living down the road from a pig farm (the same one made famous by Mike Rowe in his show "Dirty Jobs") doesn't add to the -- ahem -- charm.

School still sucks and the kids don't get better. Some days are better than others, but the students freely bite the hand that feeds them (and they have no idea what that saying means). I swear I've had better and more intellectual conversations with the 6th graders at RCDS than I can even hope to have with my classes. How to get them engaged? More importantly, how to teach to the kids who do care and want to learn while dealing with the general shit that shows up on a daily basis doing nothing? My motivation for this week came to me on Friday afternoon. I gave the seniors a group project where they had to discuss, take note, present and write a reflection on the lesson. Knowing that some students are saying to me, "Some kids in my group did nothing. I hope you know who they are." and "Some didn't even listen to the group's discussion" make me realize that I do have some who care. How can I invite them out of the shell? More important, how do I get rid of the crap that brings them down? I wish I could just fail those do-nothings now and get rid of them so I can get to the task at hand....

I can't figure if I have immense sadness for the state of Nevada or intense fury over the adults who let the schools get this way.

today I had a student come to me for advice on how to improve her grade. She does her work and is a good girl, but she is not what one might call an A student. In fact, she just passes the simple vocabulary quizzes I give her. Anyway, she has a 75 average in my class. She asked what she could do to improve her grade and I said she should study harder for the vocabulary quizzes and we could sit and look at what she needed to do to improve her writing. This wasn't enough. She wanted immediate change. She wanted an A. She wanted me to improve her grade because she had done all the work.

I was stunned. An A for doing work? What about outstanding work or even above average work? When I told my student that A was a grade reserved for the best work, she cried and left the room. Her friend, however, felt comfortable telling me that some kids don't do the work.

Hmmmm. I have always known some kids do and some kids don't. Still, I am new in this place and I wonder if it's common practice to give As to students who do the work regardless of the quality of the work. I went where I always go, to see Kevin Mills.

Kevin advised me to do what I do. Perhaps I could help a grade along by giving participation grades. I laughed. I said, "that's assuming I have kids who participate."

Kevin's big fear is that if he stays much longer in Nevada he'll ruin any bit of good teacher he has inside of him. I guess that is the point. These poor kids have been taught by teachers who think it's okay to pass them along. I now know why Precious had an A in English -- no one cared.

The Hoover Dam was fun to see. It's so weird how the mountains surrounding the dam are almost crumbly in appearance.

When I was driving on 93 South and saw Lake Mead for the first time it was surreal. It looked like a set from Lost in Space or maybe even the cover of The Martian Chronicles. It didn't look like a lake at all but a strange body of water with some mountains or islands sticking out. And there were parts of the surrounding area that were very white -- was it sand --that made it appear stranger still. I did not get a photo because I'd have caused a traffic jam worse than the one I was in.

Despite its oddness, the Dam is quite amazing. It's not anchored to the two cliffs it touches. The Dam was designed to -- with the pressure of the water behind it -- wedge between the two sides. While I was in the dam itself, the dam tour guide insisted on telling scary type stories. For example, he had us look at the cracks in the flooring. Those cracks caused by earthquakes which are felt often. Yikes. then he told about how they find rattlesnakes and tarantulas inside the dam because it's dry and warm. Lovely man. Frankly, I could have done without his silliness and desire to make us unnerved. Especially because I was feeling vaguely ill once I got down into the dam (500 plus feet). Well, it was interesting and I even walked to Arizona.

Now, I think the dam will be closed to car traffic in November because a bridge has been built to guard the dam itself from an act of terrorism (or any accident that could cause an explosion on the dam). I should have driven over it while I had the chance, but by the time I left I was pooped.

Anyway, I am glad I went on that adventure. I suppose my next excursion will be the Strip.

It was so bad here on Tuesday I called home and told Rod I wanted to come home. When I was driving yesterday afternoon I was thinking about my first period class with fondness and a smile. So, I guess perhaps there are some positive things going on here.

There has been much to do that is the stuff true dread is made of. Getting an apartment, finding furniture, getting a car and finally, getting that car registered (which meant I had to give up my NY license). the stories I'd heard about the Nevada DMV suggested I'd be giving up 8 hours to accomplish those two things. So, when I went to Toyota to pick up my green slip necessary for the DMV, I told the receptionist that I was planning on spending all of Saturday at DMV. She said, "No. Just show up at 3:30. They close at 5:00 but have to take everyone in the building if they want to go home so there's no slowing the process." I must admit I was skeptical but what the hell. So, after work today I went to DMV and met success. A mere 45 minutes later I walked out with a pair of Nevada plates and a temporary Nevada driver's license. Guess God was looking down on me and smiling.

And, speaking of Toyota. I had to go get the green slip. It does not get mailed. So, just another errand for me to deal with. Anyway, I got what I needed, drove home and talked on the phone. About an hour later I realized I received the wrong green slip. I called to make sure mine was still there and raced back in to get it. Mind you, the Toyota dealer is 25 minutes from here. I was a little cranky and thought they should buy me dinner. When I walked in, the receptionist was all apologies and gave me a 25 dollar gas car. So, it's all good.

As for my impressions of Nevada, well, I think it's full of pierced people with tattoos. I'm off to the Hoover Dam tomorrow so maybe I'll see a different type of person.

every day I feel like I got hit by a bus. I am fed up with the disrespect these students have for me. I did nothing more but walk into the classroom and do my job but that apparently set them off. I need these kids to buy into learning but how can I do that when the system has let them down for so long? How can I get these kids to recognize that it's actually fun to share ideas and talk about our hopes and dreams then apply them to the lessons we learn in class as mandated by the state of Nevada? How can I get seniors in high school to recognize that the projects they did earlier in the year were well below their level? Seriously, I had a kid tell me today that he wanted to do fun things like make a poster with vocabulary words where they simply added a definition. I ask myself, where the hell is the educational value in that? Sure, 4th graders might do that for a science project, but is it even appropriate for 12th graders, even if those 12th graders are not the sharpest?

I guess, to be generous, these kids don't respect themselves so they cannot respect anyone else. They have been strung along and passed along with no skills. I don't really even know why they go to school.

I respect myself too much and I respect my profession too much to allow this to happen. Still, it's hard to enter a classroom when there's nothing in it but hatred for me. Why can't they recognize that I'm doing my job?

I'd like to do a writing workshop to get these kids to critically evaluate and help each other's writing. The trouble is that they're not actually doing any for me. And, they don't listen to instructions when I give them.

I am failing in this place. I am really worried that I'd be able to use this experience to get me a job back home. But what if I fail completely? Will the experience even have been worth it?

I will be evaluated quite often as I work this job in Nevada. It's exhaustive. I have to make lesson plans that include:

Objectives:

course goal

syllabus objective

by the end of the lesson students will be able to ---

Resources and Materials:

Procedures/Activities/Time Allocation: (concept/skill development/group practice)

Daily reviews

introduction

objective: go over course goal and objective with students

concept/skill development/application

guided practice

independent or group practice

homework

LTMR -- by the way, I don't even know what that means

closure

Student Grouping: (whole group, peer groups, pairs, individual)

Assessment/Closing: ---didn't this get asked earlier?

Long Term Memory Review and Modifications -- aha!

Homework Assignment -- a little repetition????

Vocabulary:

this must be listed.

Okay, as a teacher I know I have to do this. But this particular framework is due every day for the three separate courses I teach. This might take some getting used to. But here's the catch...I have to do it online at work. So, that one hour planning period I have a day will be devoted to this. All the grading will have to come home.

It'll be a long year.

The Nevada schools are ranked 50th in the nation. Although I have only been teaching here for two weeks, it's no wonder.

The first problem is that the students are sitting in classrooms of 40. So, behavior management is the primary focus for the teachers. In order for the teacher to get through the day, he or she is giving assignments that require simple doing, not thinking. When a teacher has to help a student individually it can open the door for unruly behavior.

The second problem I see is the passing along of students. I have a class of sophomore honors students who cannot all do the work I assign them. Several of my students do not do the work I assign -- not because they can't, in my opinion -- as they wait for me to provide the answers. They think it's foreign to actually do the work. If schools continue to just pass students up, they are setting these same students up for failure.

My students who are seniors are especially difficult. As I see it, they are there to graduate. Those who expect to go on to college don't have any understanding of what critical thinking or reasoning is. I have students in my class who think it's perfectly okay to refuse to do work if it's not interesting enough or it's boring. While I recognize this to be normal with any student, I am confused by this behavior coming from students who expect to go on to college. Further, the lack of respect these same students show me on a daily basis indicates that they are unaware that I am one of the people from whom they need to get a recommendation.

When a school system fails to show cause and effect throughout the grades, students are going to get the short end of the stick.

It's hard for me to enter two of my five classes because the hatred toward me is palpable. But, when I'm feeling generous, I feel sorry for these kids. They are under the impression that nothing is expected from them but to just show up. They do not truly understand what respect is because the teachers and system that have passed them along have shown no respect toward them. When a teacher such as myself comes along and demands work, the students fight back and insist that it is I who is showing disrespect. It's a vicious cycle.

I had my sophomores write a letter of introduction to me. They needed to include some self-reflection about themselves as writers and readers and about their past experiences in English class. For the most part, these kids, in an honors class, have been given very little writing instruction with even less feedback. If the state wanted to improve how the students do on the proficiency tests, they'd spend more time looking at progress rather than asking teachers to file a proper lesson plan.

This will be a very long year.

I am fed up with the whole business of job hunting.

Just yesterday I drove into the Bronx for an interview (got lost twice on the way and had difficulty finding my way out of the city afterwards). since I was pressed for time, I parked in a weirdly marked area that was probably not legal but I had to get in. So I could wait a full 40 minutes before I was to be interviewed.

Once I did get my turn, the principal barely even gave me time. In fact, after asking the first question, while I was mid-answer, she left the room because someone needed to ask her a question. At that time I introduced myself to the assistant principal who was also in the room. We chatted a bit then the principal came in to hear my full answer. She asked another question and then there was another interruption. Finally, it was the AP who really conducted the interview while the principal had her attention elsewhere.

When I left, I found -- big surprise -- a ticket on my windshield. this morning I learned that I didn't get the job. Hmmmmmm.....

I am really sick of this. And worse, I need a paycheck. Because while I was in the city, Rod was home dealing with a plumber who installed a new well pump to the tune of $2800. I don't really know how we're supposed to stay afloat.

I got to thinking last night, as a result of someone's facebook status, that the country simply doesn't understand the foundations of the democracy they so willingly go to war for. Case in point: Glen Beck's march on Washington suggesting that we must respect the feelings of those whose loved ones were killed at the twin towers on September 11th. What much of this country seems to have forgotten, in my humble opinion, is that the idea of blind justice is what makes this a great nation. Sure there are bumps in the road, and will continue to be so, but the ideas are worth fighting for.

What am I saying? The mosque should be allowed to be built because they have the right to build it. If we allow emotions to muddy the water, then we cannot possibly believe there is any justice being served. Further, we need to recognize that we did not go to war with a religion but with the people who designed the hijackings.

If I had died on Sept. 11, 2001 I would hope my death would bring a greater good, not this constant bickering and hatred against innocent people who had nothing to do with what happened that day.

It's time for America to remember that we cannot acknowledge rights only when they serve a particular interest. We have to separate church and state; rights from emotions. If Glen Beck wants to talk about respect, I think he should begin by respecting the laws of this great nation.

I am still waiting for the city of Las Vegas to learn that I am not a criminal and pose no threat to their students. This wait is bothersome. I have a lot to do out there; my family needs to deal with my absence; I need to know I am working. Seriously, what is the hold up?

I am eager to move. There is much out there for me to see and experience. Further, I need to get over this hurdle. Now that everyone is on board, we cannot dally further or the eagerness will become dread. I want to work and earn money again. Rod and I have plans for driving across the country next year which will be a real fun adventure. I want to see the Grand Canyon and drive to california just because I can. I wonder if living in a dry climate will have any impact on my sinus headaches. Will the produce be better there because of Nevada's proximity to California and Mexico?

I am looking forward to learning about myself and seeing how well I handle the constant self-reflection. Will I find lots of friends? will I be overly lonely? What I'd like more than anything is to become a person who can handle "stuff" without getting overly stressed. I want to see a new place and have a fuller bag of tricks just because I'm exposed to more. C'mon clearance....

The good news is that I finally scheduled my mammogram. The sort-of bad news is that I need to bring my previous original film with me. Now, I ask myself, in this day and age of technology you'd think this would be something that I could get at the drop of a hat. At least, I think it would be a very good use of technology. Instead, I have to run up to Newburgh to get the films then bring them with me to my appointment.

It could be worse....

But, what if I'd moved west already. What would I do then? Wait for the film to arrive by mail before I could even schedule the appointment? Women don't like having the procedure done in the first place. I feel this extra is just another hurdle in the road to getting a mammogram. It's time technology stepped up and made my life easier. I need technology in this arena; I don't need another facebook game to get addicted to.

So, I wait. And get an email to perk me up and make me wonder....

Apparently, NYC has received some stimulus money and is now able to hire new teachers: that is, they can hire teachers who are not in the city system. So, I got an email from ms 224 requesting my resume and letters of reference. I've sent those in and now wait for the end of the week when the school decides who to call in for interviews. Weird that I may finally have a chance to stay home but not have the luxury to wait for them to make a decision. Then again, as one of my coffee buddies said, "I'd rather live in Las Vegas than the Bronx." Well, that may happen. Or not.

Well, step one of my journey is actually complete. I received Nevada state certification to teach. Now I just need Las Vegas to follow suit and I'll be able to make the move. I hope it's sooner than later so I can be in my classroom on the first day of school. It's important to set the stage correctly.

As we get closer to the wire, I am beginning to get apprehensive about all the other things I need to do for myself. If I go out there as school is beginning, I be scurrying to find a place, get my classroom set up and figure the lay of the land. Still, all things considered, that would only take a couple days. I have been researching places to live and car dealers. Once I'm out there, I will figure it all out.

I heard from Las Vegas that I have partial clearance. I am not sure what that means but I suspect I will soon be packing my bags for a big adventure out west.

this is going to be difficult. Financially it's not a step forward; however, it does keep us from slipping further down. More importantly, this is an opportunity for me to do what I love to do while allowing me to see who I am and to force myself to depend on no one but myself. Although I am 47, I've never truly cared for just me. I've never even earned enough money to support myself. This is a big change and challenge.

Still, the fact that I don't have it all in order is bothersome. When do I leave? How much will I earn? What will the school be like? How about the weather? One thing I know. the people in Nevada have been so much more helpful and friendly than I experience here. It'll be nice to step away from the hustle of this place even just for a while.

And Rod has a wonderful road trip planned for us when I come back after my first year. Can't wait for the adventure to begin.

There are way too many mean kids out there. I suspect it's because there are too many parents who are unwilling to accept that their child is not perfect. When people -- adults and children -- are not able to accept responsibility for their own shortcomings, we have a very insular public willing only to protect itself.

Since I am a bitch to begin with, I have a tendency to keep my mouth shut when I see mean kids. This causes me to have 20/20 hindsight then I feel like kicking myself for not saying something as was the case today. Back when I was growing up, we knew everyone was watching and everyone had the right to reprimand. That is no longer the case. So, no one takes responsibility for doing something wrong. It's time to make some change.

Perhaps, in the future, I will get myself in line and will call a spade a spade. Damn the consequences.

Should I stay or should I go?

I still cannot make up my mind. I suppose one could say I am suffering or experiencing a mid-life crisis. I want to get away and find a new place to grow as I feel stagnant here. This stagnation isn't new either. It's really been present every year I've lived in the northeast.

Still, I can't go yet either. First of all, I need some red tape handled. If I don't have Nevada certification in hand, I simply cannot get a job in Nevada. Is that a dream busted or simply deferred?

I feel sort of angry at those who say, "I don't like this idea." Is it theirs to like? It might be a mistake. But it's for me to decide. I have been graced with a family that is willing to go along for the ride and let me leave. I need to take the bull by the horns.

'Tis the season for new job postings, but there are really not many opportunities. With each application, I wonder what the school is looking for or who they already have in mind. This is very difficult and easy to lose hope when the real opportunities are no where to be found.

And yet, Teach for America is getting jobs for kids who do not have certification or any experience. What is that about??? This desire to heap the blame of poor public education on the teaching institutions seems unfounded. When I was getting my master's degree, I learned some very useful information and techniques that would be great to apply to the classroom. In fact, we were urged to use the current body of research to inform our practice. Sadly, many of the public school teachers were complaining that they couldn't use these ideas because they had to focus on the standardized tests. The fact that one does not need to negate the other was completely overlooked. You can use new techniques to teach the same material.

What is hurting American education? Apathy, teacher unions unwilling to neaten their ranks, standardize tests that teach to the bottom of the pile, boredom. How many times have you heard teachers say they don't get paid enough? Money -- or lack of pay -- isn't the problem. When you choose to work in the public sector, that means you don't get paid tons of cash. While teachers want to be treated as "professionals" they don't act like professionals. Many do not subscribe to trade publications nor are they members of professional organizations. How can they then call themselves professionals when they don't even know what is happening in their field? In my district, teachers have been teaching the same thing (say 4th grade) for the entire duration of their time in the district. Really, how sharp do we expect teachers to be when they do the same thing year in and year out. There is no way to keep it fresh. I used to get asked why I'd opt to remove To Kill a Mockingbird from the reading list. My answer: I've gotten sick of it. If the teacher is sick of it, how could we expect students to see its miracle? School districts need to move things around and shake it up. Yes, experience can make a better teacher, but it can also make a bored one. A bored teacher, one who doesn't need to do any prep, should not be paid more than the teacher who is working diligently to match appropriate, interesting material to the students he or she has in the class this year.

It is time for change in American education, but I doubt Teach for America is the answer. We need to scream and shout for more accountability from those who do the job. We need to recognize and applaud those who go above and beyond. We need to demand excellence. We need to teach children at their level and scrap this culture of standardization. Any 9th grader with a 2nd grade reading level will fail. Let's teach them how to read before we ask them to analyze the data.

Finally, let's look for teachers who are professionals; who belong to the organizations that work hard to keep American education on top. It's not impossible. Shake the apathy and move on.

Dieting is no easy task. This is especially true for those who don't eat much. We need to evaluate what exactly is aiding in the pound packing. Don't misunderstand, however, that I fully appreciate the difficulty it is for anyone to lose weight. Healthy food is expensive which is one of the reasons this country is so heavy to begin with.

This past month my body seems to have accepted its fate. That is to say that I don't have a constant hunger. I eschewed the no carb diet in favor of one that simply limits calories. If you can stomach a slim fast shake, they are handy to have around. Limited calories and it's a full meal. For me, the shake does fill me up so I can go without worry. The other success for me has been ingesting fiber (Fiber One cereal packs 57 percent of your daily fiber requirement!!). I know this seems counterintuitive, but it really works.

I have lost 8 pounds in the last 3-4 weeks. I have much more to go but it sure feels nice to pull out the spring clothes and see them fitting. My budget won't allow shopping so it's good to have what I need.

Well, off to breakfast.

I recently had the opportunity to sub in a 5th grade classroom. What fun!! The kids were nice and interested in what I told them to do. Really. They had to silently read for 25 minutes and they did it. They responded well to my questions (what's a good book for a boy who doesn't like to read?) and gave me no grief. Why are the kids in my own district such shits?

Schools everywhere are cutting back. Some good teachers are going to lose their jobs because the old crusty teachers have seniority over them. That really hurts education. Really -- it's time to recognize that the way we keep teachers (and I suspect the way teachers get hired) needs change.

Back in the day, the students in my home district were not bad. They've gotten worse. While the demographics of the community have changed, I believe that if the school were built on a more solid footing of what is important -- core values -- and less focused on popularity and sports ability, then we might see a step in the right direction.

the 5th graders in Garrison seem more grounded by what's really important. Maybe we could learn a thing or two from that community. If we'd care to listen to the lesson....

What is it with allergies? Some people suffer from sneezing and itchy eyes; others suffer with stuffy nose and coughing. Me? I have horrible headaches and, in the fall, laryngitis. today my head aches and there is nothing to take unless I want to go back to bed (not a great idea at 10am).

Why do we have allergies that change? I did not used to be allergic to pollen. Rod used to need shots. Tyler is forever changing. I'm sorry to say, but I think we need some rain to wash away some of this dust to make me feel better (then, of course, those with mold allergies will suffer). Is there no end to this misery?

The cover of the latest Time magazine: "Should Schools Bribe Kids?"

I've not yet read the article but I do have an opinion about the question. The short answer: no. I wonder how we can get back to knowing how necessary education is. I am reading Three Cups of Tea and it's a beautiful book because the Pakistani children were scraping in dirt to get an education. In this country our kids seem to have lost the need for it. Or, the desire. Giving students ipods or laptops will not make them better students. I learned without those things. So did many others. All it encourages is a student body that thinks we need to give it something in order for it to do work.

Alfie Kohn wrote a book called Punished by Rewards. His argument is that we have hurt our students by making them think they should be rewarded for everything. When I worked at the Rockland Country Day School the same idea prevailed at the assembly. Just about every student got a certificate for participation in anything: the 7th grade plant sale, the organic garden, etc. In fact, there was little difference between acknowledging those who led and those to simply participated. Then there were the athletic awards. All athletes received medals. The outstanding players got a speech and a trophy. Those who were outstanding in academics did not receive such prizes.

The educational system in this country is going to hell precisely because we have gotten to the point where we think we need to bribe students.

It's time we started looking at teachers who make a difference in their student's lives and rewarded them. Or, better, got rid of those teachers who do nothing for their students. Just showing up for a paycheck is perhaps the attitude that made students uninterested in learning. Let's correct that before we start doling out bribes to get students to do work.

Now I think I'll read that article.

Tiger Woods is on the green again as the media waits for him to fall. I simply do not understand the vultures that fly above celebrities. We want to love them as we congratulate ourselves for not being them?

Personally, I am not bothered by men or women cheating on each other. Frankly, it's not my business. As long as my husband remains true to me and our marriage, it's all fair. Everyone else has their own issues to deal with. What I don't understand, is this society's desire to see failure in celebrity marriages. It's hard to make a marriage work; it's harder to make it work when everything you do or say is under the microscope. When you live in a fake world, how can you build a real relationship?

As for Tiger's problems with sponsorships, I really do get myself in a kink. The sponsors do not want to be connected with Tiger Woods until he starts winning again. So, I guess the moral of the story is: You may be a lying, cheating bastard as long as you win the big prize. If, however, you are a loser, then everything you do contributes to your down and dirty ways.

I cannot believe how difficult it is for people to accept change. What about the Health Care bill now law is so difficult to understand and embrace? Are people really so afraid of government ruling the country? Why? No one said "boo" when the Bush Administration basically did what it wanted -- including changing the definition of the word torture -- to push their agenda forward. Why, then, do we as a country have so much difficulty understanding that health care helps all people in the country.

When students are healthy, they can learn better. when students learn better they become more intelligent. When the people of a country are more intelligent, the decisions they make are better considered. When children are healthy, the likelihood that they maintain health into old age is greater.

Do we need to punish those who are unfortunate enough to be ill by removing their insurance?

I went on yet another interview today. This was for one of four leave replacement positions in the Byram Hills School District (located in Armonk, NY). When I was initially contacted by the head of the English department, he indicated that the interest was to find an experienced teacher who could handle the NYS ELA test. While I am fully capable, I did not want to have my time and energy wasted. So, I graciously said that while I know the test well, I have no experience scoring it. I added that I recognized that they needed to hire what they needed to hire, but if the scoring was a deal breaker, let's part ways before anyone wasted time. He was quite nice about it and said if I were hired they'd get me training. The interview went well.

I've come to the point where I will not beg for a job. I am very good at what I do and shine better when I am me. If they don't want to hire me, so be it, but at least I won't be selling myself short. Life is too short to jump through other people's hoops. Besides, how can I show myself in the best light if I don't provide my own lighting? I am who I am.

In the meanwhile, I am waiting for a non-teaching job to become available in Rod's department -- with the same pay as Rod. While I will not have summers off, the commute is the cat's meow. Wouldn't it be weird to have two offers at the same time? Aren't I a dreamer?

What's on Your List?

I just finished reading "The Next Thing on My List" by Jill Smolinski and it got me thinking about having a list of accomplishments I would like to have to my name. Sure, I want to be a better, nicer person, but I'd also like to do something with my life. Make a mark. So, I started a list:

1. be a runner. as in run a 5K (yes, the character in the book did this too, but still...)

2. get back down to 115 and stay there.

3. become a doctor - in language, literacy and learning

4. calm down

5. remember that others have troubles too. what looks good doesn't always mean life is grand.

6. write every day -- maybe even publish a book.

7. volunteer in an organization I feel strongly about.

So, it's a start.

Health Care Reform

The tax on soda got a friend of mine talking on facebook. The comments that followed had remarks about the health care reform bill which made me want to scream. This anti-Obama attitude is making me crazy, yet I recognize that others are entitled to their opinion. I wanted to make a remark to the anti health care reform people, but I first decided to do some real research into what the health care reform bill means.

First, it takes the problems in health care and tries to address them. The biggest problems are: high cost, not all are covered, those with coverage get denied benefits when they become sick. I personally believe we can all agree that these are problems that need fixing. The trouble is, the Republican party doesn't want to pay for the fixing (or their campaigns are paid for by the insurance companies that over-charge for insurance). I understand that but I don't believe the majority of the people in this country don't want to fix the problems in health care.

The Obama bill calls for all to be insured. In essence, he will be forcing the American people to buy health care. The idea of forcing the population to do anything would make it bristle, but consider the fact that no one is complaining about having to have auto insurance or having to pay taxes for social security or medicare. What's the difference?

It is a slippery slope when you propose a bill that may cost taxpayers money. However, let's consider the costs we already carry due to an unhealthy body of people. Schools do not meet the standards because students are not healthy. When kids fail in school, they will become a burden on society down the road. They will be unable to find a meaningful job thus creating a scenario where a criminal life offers more for them. What we pay up front could really save us money down the road.

But I am an Obama supporter.

Really, though, can we not get together on this. Health care needs reform. Let's do it so we can be a better society. One worth fighting for.

Hazing

I just read an article about hazing in high and middle schools. My initial reaction to the title of the article was "hazing is bad" though as I read more, I realized I don't fully understand the whole scope of the situation.

My first understanding of hazing came when I saw The Lords of Discipline. Rod's time at the Citadel made me further aware albeit after the fact, that hazing was ever present in a military environment. Sadly, I witnessed hazing without even knowing it when I was in high school. What's worse, I wanted to be included in the humiliating process.

Why did my high school have sororities? What purpose did they serve? What did those girls even do? Still, I was hurt when all the cool kids were inducted and of course I was not. I remember Jan Sheldon having to sing "I Love to Love you baby" to a trash can on the smokers patio in an outfit fit for the 50s. Rhonda Kaplan had to kiss 500 sheets of tissue paper (red lipstick necessary) and collect a lock of Hank Erbe's hair. Really, what was this all about?

Flash forward to the present, and I was sort of stunned to realize my own daughter's lacrosse team had its own form of hazing. Making the freshman girls collect the equipment from the field is apparently hazing.

The biggest problems are : people want to be included in something and will do almost anything to garner that inclusion.

we don't really know when to say when. Gathering equipment from the field after practice seems harmless; injuring the newbies on the soccer team as they stand in a goal with no shirts as other players make free kicks to the goal.

Can this be stopped? Not without the masses coming to agreement about appropriate behavior and ensuring the safety of the whistle blower. So, I guess it's unlikely.

The Olympics

Facebook and this morning tweets are all aflutter about the USA getting another gold medal. THis time, Shaun White was awarded one (and this is not a surprise). I love the olympics and always have, but I can't help but to be critical of the commentary that accompanies them.

Why do we only get treated to the stuff that Americans are expected to win medals in? Isn't this rude? there are some pretty interesting sports out there that might capture the attention of a young American but we don't hear about it (or even see it). I really can't believe it's about the ratings. Really, if they wanted better ratings, cut the crap from the programming and stick to the good stuff -- the sport itself.

Sadly, Vancouver has not gotten snow that was necessary for the alpine events. This,however, was good for us. We got to see the Nordic combined where an American actually, for the first time ever, won a medal (silver). However, since an American led the entire race but got passed by a Frenchman, the commentators seemed disappointed about the outcome. Seriously, folks, shouldn't we be celebrating? If memory serves, there were 3 Americans in the top ten of the race. That's progress.

Tuesday night Rod and I watched a snowboard event that was utterly fascinating. An American girl was expected to win the gold. The commentators suggested that her reputation was at stake if she did not win. She didn't. In fact, she didn't even make it to the finals. It's sad for her but should all that pressure been put on her? Have we learned nothing from Dan Jansen's perseverance?

Then there's the corrupt judging. I have simply lost my taste for any sport that relies on the judge. While my distaste happened before the scandal around figure skating, it has gotten far worse. I like clocks. Speed. It's honest and all about skill. Clothes and taste in music have nothing to do with it. This formula for degree of difficulty? Do math majors understand this? It's too difficult to understand for the common man.

finally, I am saddened that despite the family sacrifice and whatnot, the olympics in America are really about money. these sports require lots of income to support. Even if my children had the ability, I don't have the cash to help them achieve such dreams. When I watch runners or swimmers, I know any one could -- given the talent -- succeed. Not so in the world of diving and figure skating and gymnastics.

Americans win many medals. It's because we have more people with more money who can attend the sport. We don't worry about a war torn gymnasium. There are no food lines here (though plenty hungry). Perhaps given the life of ease we enjoy should bear more fruit.

go USA.

It's time for a magazine we can really afford

In these tough economic times, the financial advisers tell us to cut cost by doing some simple things. Top on the list (or the one most commonly given) is to cut your magazine subscriptions. Well, duh. If you haven't got the cash, you won't be buying them anyway. Still, the magazines make it awfully difficult to pass down.

Some magazines have been hit so hard they've had to stop publication altogether. Gourmet magazine is no more because of the lack of readership (despite my willingness to go to the poor house to keep my subscription up). Some of my magazine subscriptions are still current though will not be renewed. Mostly I am upset that some of these magazines simply haven't made adjustments to the current economy. When shoes are advertised for upwards of 700 bucks, I really have to wonder how many readers can even afford such shoes. Handbags for 1500 bucks? Really? How about the dress price that's only provided "upon request"? What about the time arrest cream for a hundred bucks? Seriously, if I could afford such luxuries I wouldn't even need the deep discounts provided through the subscription price. I'd be able to afford the news stand price.

What we really need is a magazine designed for those of us who like to look at the super expensive stuff but have no idea where to buy it let alone afford it. A quick peak inside the Oprah magazine shows dresses and such available through Walmart. Granted, the politics of Walmart are not good, but does Chanel really have a better record? I want a magazine that offers recipes for nutritious food at a good price. Articles that discuss the bottom of the line products: what's in what's not. I want to know what podiatrists have to say about the way shoes are made. What is the cheapest I can go and not hurt my feet? (PS it's not Manolo Blahnik). Where can I buy affordable clothes with a good drape? What is a good drape anyway?

Sad, I need a lot of money to establish a magazine for people with little.

I simply love a snow day. We had a nice meal and I was worry free as the family was all home and safe. Sadly, many still had to work today which made me wonder why businesses feel the need to be open on such a day. Really, when I worked in the publishing company, they never called a snow day yet nothing got done because everyone was so focused on the storm. And, if the highway department is telling people to stay off the roads, shouldn't we heed their warnings?

I have been hearing chatter from others on facebook that schools have been canceled for tomorrow. I suspect Tyler will have a delay; Rod will have work as usual. I am glad I don't have to deal with the weather at all. The idea of working close to home is so magnetic. Although I want to stay in teaching (summers off are hard to beat, especially when you have children with the summer off), having work nearby would be terrific. And I'd still get snow days.

Oprah's Book Picks

When Oprah Winfrey began her book club I was so excited. This was doubly so because my friends are not readers and I had no one to discuss books with. Here, then, was a format that I could at least hear others speak of books.

Some of the chosen books were pure winners. Consider Ursula Hegi's book Stones from the River. The story of a dwarf in Germany before, during and after World War II. It wasn't a war book. It was a book about people. Pure genius.

Then Oprah started picking books I did not really like. My interest started to wane. I went to work and had no time to read the assignments. I did, however, buy several of the books and they rested on my shelves for years.

I have been unemployed for a year and a half now and am finding my way to those books. Most recently I read the book Fall on Your Knees by Ann Marie MacDonald. It's the story of the Piper family who lives in Cape Breton in Canada. There's mystery and tragedy. There are fathers who mean to do well by their daughters but can't. There are mothers locked by their sense of right and wrong as dictated, not by the heart, but by tradition. There are those relationships between sisters who love each other intensely and whose actions are determined by that love. It's a big story that spans two generations. However, the writing is at times a bit vague such as when Mercedes begins to remember a night long ago....

The bottom line is that I liked this book. I enjoy any book that pulls me in for a good story and introduces characters that I like whose motivations are understandable. I would not, however, add this to the best of the year list, I would recommend it.

Many, many years ago I used to think that once a book was begun it did not get put away until finished -- even when the book was horrible. Those days are long gone. I have really embraced the feeling. Life is too short to read a bad book (or one that is not grabbing my attention). Naturally this could be thrown out the window if we're talking about school books. An assigned book must be read. Why? Because if nothing else, the reader can participate in the discussion. It's there that all the learning gets done.

My most recent dropped book is Snow by Orhan Pamuk (winner of the Noble prize for literature several years ago). As the title suggests, snow plays a role in the narrative. Sadly, I found the snow to be oppressive. Further, the book is about Turkey a country about which I know nothing. While the internet is a great source for information, frankly I don't feel like doing research to read a book. I'm just not that into it.

Time to find a new book.

Last year I read A Fine Balance. It sat on my bookshelf for years. Finally, I blew the dust off and was simply delighted. Books are like that. Sometimes they do nothing until you are ready to accept them. Atonement was a book like that as was Cider House Rules. So, I'll put Snow back on the shelf and try something new in the meantime.

The Demo Lesson

It is really exhausting to go into a class of 8th grade students to teach a demo lesson. I did one today. It went well, but the interview that followed was odd. The principal made me feel as though the lesson was not too good. I thought it went well considering my expectations for the class were higher than the skills of the class. (The school's website sings a song far different than the reality.)

Anyway, as I was waiting to do the demo lesson, the literacy person came into the office. She chatted with one of the secretaries and they were obviously talking about me and my lack of backbone to work in the school. Talk about feeling weird. I waited and waited. My demo lesson was to be at noon. No one came to get me until maybe 5 or 10 minutes later than that (yet the lesson had to be in a certain time slot). Still, I did well. I think I even saw the literacy specialist give a nod of approval when I was finished.

Now I wait. I need a job and am fully capable of working in any school (pretty much), but I also feel as though my opportunities are shrinking.

Think I'll go take a nap.

Teacher Certification

I have been interested in getting additional certification to teach in the state of New York. There is an express certification for already certified teachers to extend their certification in Special Education. I looked into it, and after spending 100 dollars have learned that it is almost valueless. Well, not fully, but it is if you do not currently hold a position in a public school. What you need for this additional certification is to take three classes in special education, take the Special Education content area test (another 88 dollars), and -- this is the kicker -- have a letter or document signed by the superintendent of your district that you will be teaching special education.

The problem: what school will hire a teacher if they don't have the certification? New York State is so backed up, even with the proper paperwork, it takes a long time to get the certification necessary.

Additional problems in the area of certification are as follows:

no one is available within the certification office to give help.

you have to take a designated number of courses in a particular area of study (ie English) and pass the content area test. However, even if you could pass the content area test without the courses, you do not get credit for them. This seems off to me. Theoretically, the purpose of taking those courses is to enable one to to pass the content test. Why not allow someone to teach an area where they obviously know the material?

it's really all about money. There seems to be little interest in making better teachers with these restrictions, just making it more difficult to get the ducks lined up.

When I first took my teacher tests (then called NTE - national teaching exam), I took them with a girl (at least one) who did not pass the tests the first two times she took them. I was horrified to learn that I would be in competition with this girl once she did in fact pass the NTE. So, while I still must present my transcripts when getting interviewed, I don't have to worry about the scores on the teaching tests. This just seems unfair. I was a different person 25 years ago. Further, the college where I received my undergraduate diploma was not a good fit for me. I had difficulty at BU; the same type courses I took at Fairfield University and the University of Connecticut earned me better grades.

I got through school and through my various experiences have become a better teacher. The difficulties I faced as a student have helped me to understand my students better. I am a very bright person now; it was not necessarily the case when I was 22. We learn with each passing day. Still, I lose job opportunities to young girls who just graduated from college.

Having certification in various areas seems just to be filler for a resume. The states have created a nightmare and need to further review and identify what makes a person eligible to teach a course. It's more than just a test. It's about character.