As we talked yesterday, I felt bad that she was experiencing the same thing I did when I was in college. I was okay there but did not really like it. I always thought it was because I didn't belong there in the first place so I just didn't fit in (like a kid on a team who can't play). Also, I had no help deciding what path I wanted to follow or what I wanted to do with my life. Since I no longer lived where my friends did (divorced parents mess things up in so many ways), going home had no lure. There was no one there for me anyway. So, I just dealt with the hand I had.
Julia benefitted from my experience. Or so I thought. We did look at a variety of schools that offered the majors she wanted. And, she really enjoyed being at school last year. What changed? What could I have done differently to avoid this?
The change is in having a boyfriend who does not attend the school where you go. This is probably the reason I didn't want to stay at BU until graduation. Another problem is that Julia's good friend had a boyfriend taking the friend away from the fun activities of the year before. There was nothing I could have done for her. Personally, I am finding that difficult to swallow.
Kids have fun at school but they shouldn't have too much fun. Julia is not sacrificing her school work for parties and that is as it should be. Still, she needs to find fun. She also needs to broaden the range of people with whom she spends all her time. She has been with the same girls for two years. Adding to that, she will be living with them next year. I hope she finds others in her field of study to befriend. In that way, perhaps the experience will be fun again.
I guess she'll be another one who doesn't look back on her school years with fondness. How many really like school?
