There is much fuss in Congress about student loans.  Should we help students pay them off or what?

I can't help feeling queasy about this whole debate.  When the housing crisis hit, I remember thinking it was bound to happen.  After all, anyone with any sense could see that the houses people were buying were both too big and too expensive.  It's not like the American people were swimming in money.  They were doing the same jobs they had before.  Some TV shows cashed in on the frenzy:  Flip This House is one that stands out.  People would purchase a piece of crap house then do some modest improvements and sell it at a large profit.  I hated that show.

Here we are wringing our hands about student loans.  Hmmm, seems to me people should have recognized that schools were way too expensive.  I'm not knocking the price if you can afford it.  It's just too many kids were scrambling to get into schools and these private institutions stood around with their hands out looking for easy money.  And these poor kids just jumped right in to debt.  Now they're not pleased with the debt.  Well, I don't like debt either.  Here's a solution:  don't get into it if you can't afford.

Sure, some had no intention of getting in trouble.  I'm just feeling like someone should have noticed that it's not a good idea to graduate from college with a massive debt.  And no job.

I like President Obama, and I too believe we need to get kids into college.  But I also notice that we need tradesman.  We still need plumbers and electricians.  We need landscapers and horticulturists.  Where will they come from?  Sure, college raises the bar, but it's also screwing the American public.  Trust me, you'll get what I mean the next time your toilet starts backing up and a snake and a plunger don't do the trick....

What this country needs is a population with intelligence.  College doesn't necessarily guarantee that.  My friend Cindy was just complaining tonight about how one of her college professors was berating the class because they did not know how to write a paper properly. She is almost finished with college so we're not talking about the new freshman.  This, of course, brings up another topic.  Why do we keep inflating grades.  Look, if a kid writes a shit paper, give a grade that reflects that.  Goodness.

If we were intelligent, we wouldn't buy a home we couldn't afford.  And we wouldn't let our children amass great debt for a college education.  Then we wouldn't be in this fix.

Time is standing still and I really don't like it.

The Newshour reported (and has been reporting) on graduation rates in America and focuses on various schools throughout the nation.  Tonight the focus was on a school that had been featured in Time magazine as a dropout zone.  So, naturally, there are many on hand who have something to say.  I am concerned that we are focusing on the wrong stuff.

How do schools improve their standing?  They focus on graduation rates.  One reason students don't graduate is because they don't do work.  Sure, they may come from crappy homes, but the bottom line is that if you don't do work, you can't improve.  However, administrators look good when they raise the graduation rate.  How do they do that????  By forcing or bullying teachers to pass students.

The result?  Students who pass but don't possess the necessary skills to do well in the market.  Are we really serving ourselves?  Are we really serving the taxpayers?

I know some talented teachers who are losing jobs because they don't want to be a part of the nonsense.  Some administrators decide that if you have a lot of kids failing your class, you must not be doing your job.  From where I'm standing, that's not the full story.  From a personal standpoint, I know that I am not the most organized teacher under the sun.  I also know that I could have done a better job this year.  Still, I also know that my students spend their day with a teacher who actually cares if they learn.  And if the best they can do is a C that works for me.  Sadly, many of my students even struggle for a C.  They cannot spell; they cannot organize thoughts; they cannot read fluently nor can they understand complex ideas; they cannot follow oral directions; they do not read written directions.  However, I must pass them for showing up to school.  I want to leave teaching because this is really bothering me.  Many teachers who keep their jobs have bought into the system and don't try anymore.  That's not okay with me and it shouldn't be okay with the American people either.

Maybe, as Julia's professor once said, American public education will no longer be here in 50 years.  Sobering thoughts indeed.

Happy Earth Day!

I am not a gun person, but I've always been a little curious about shooting a gun.  The interest was piqued when I was in my 20s watching World News Tonight with Peter Jennings.  They ran a story about a place in Kentucky where people could go to shoot up old appliances.  I've no idea why, but I thought it looked like a good time.  Finally, I had my chance.

I knew the day would come several months ago when my friend Danielle's boyfriend bought her a gun.  It was a pistol, actually, and they said they'd invite me to go shooting sometime.  They were true to their word and we went yesterday.

First, it's a noisy experience.  People shoot all kinds of guns with all sorts of ammunition.  All the shooters line up and place their belongings on a table located between the yellow line and the red line.  Targets may only be set up after the all clear is issued and then you step past the red line to set up the target.  Then, they wait for all to be ready and the shooting begins.

I was initially surprised by the variety of people who go to the range.  No stereotypes there.  Then I was surprised by the shell casings that went flying all over.  Once a gun is fired, it can shoot the spent shell casing out of the gun.  I swear the man at the table to the left of us had shells with my name on them.  No matter where I stood, the shells headed in my direction.  The ground was littered with shell casings. I was second-guessing my decision to wear flip-flops and shorts (it reached 101 in Vegas yesterday).  My third surprise came with the first gun I shot -- I actually hit the target in the head.  This was not to be my experience with the other guns I shot, but I really did have beginner's luck.  My problem was that I was afraid.  I do talk with my hands and Todd was asking questions after my first couple shots.  I wanted to tell him what I was thinking but I had a loaded weapon in my hands.  I did not like the feeling of having so much power.

It was a fun experience.  Although I know for a fact that I will never own a gun or want one in my house, I did find the experience to be very relaxing.  And now I can fully understand the fear one has when holding a gun for the first time.

Guns really don't kill people.  People do -- whether or not they intend to.

Everyone who is home tells me time will pass quickly.  It's not passing quickly here.  I just want to go home and stop being so lonely.

Tomorrow I will be headed to the shooting range with my friend Danielle and her boyfriend.  I am not a gun advocate, but I am interested to see what it's like to shoot a weapon.  My expectation is that it's not an easy thing to do -- maybe it's not a difficult as it looks.  If it's not difficult, no wonder people shoot each other so easily.

Seriously, though, I need to reserve judgment.

Please Father Time, pass quickly and get me out of here.

Long story but I'll shorten it.

I received a letter of recommendation from my supervising administrator that was almost more embarrassing for herself than it was for me (on what planet did she learn that 4 sentences -- two short paragraphs) made up a letter?  Anyway, I got some good advice from a friend.  She suggested, since there was an error about what I taught last year anyway, that I write a new letter, give it to my supervisor and ask for a signature.  I did just that.

And hoped she would just sign.

At the end of the day, however, I received an email saying that she did not agree with the changes I made and to review the new letter.

I did.

And I am sad.  What she removed from the letter was the part about me caring for my students.  REally, I have NEVER had a teaching job where I did not care for my students.  Honestly, it's just another example of how the people in this job don't really know what they are looking at.

Goodness.

Dizziness is such a strange thing. I don't have the kind that makes me feel like I'll fall over, but I cannot do the drinking test (close your eyes and touch your nose) without swaying a bit. I will go to an Ear, nose, throat doctor tomorrow; with any luck, I'll get an answer. If nothing else, at least I don't have to go to work tomorrow -- sleep with no alarm and rest!!!!

I am so ready to be finished with this accident. I have been contacted by the adjuster of the woman who hit me. Basically, I was invited to sue for damages. She said, "You are entitled to a bodily injury claim." If I could walk away with several thousand dollars in my pocket, I would be quite happy. Then again, it just lengthens the time that I have to deal with this.

Decisions, decisions.

Rule number one for writing recommendations: don't write one if you can't.

So, I got a "recommendation" from my supervising administrator today that I am embarrassed to pass along to another school. While it's not in any way complimentary to me as either a professional or human, it speaks volumes to why I do not fit in here. I know how to write a letter. It's too bad the people who judge me do not possess the basic skills necessary to get along in this world.

The question now is "what to do"? Should I tell her that it would be appreciated if she could write one nice thing about me? Should I remind her of the work I have done in my department? I do need to send it back to her because she made an error on it (saying I taught English 1 at my last school when in fact I taught English 2). Ugh. 53 more days.

I have to say that having a countdown to departure is sad, there is no other way for me to get through the next 56 days.

Las Vegas is not a nice place.

The other day I was at a red light behind a car and realized I needed to get into the right turn lane. Since there was plenty of room for me to maneuver into the right lane, I slowly did so. The driver of the car in front of me inched up a bit to help me out. Naturally I gave her the "thank you" wave and even mouthed the word "thanks". Instead of a smile or nod, I got a sneer complete with lifted lip. Really.

I've also begun stressing about my 25th anniversary trip. Rod and I were going to travel up to Maine and have a nice 5 days together. I think now we have to cancel the trip because Tyler needs someone to be with. I don't want to leave the dog in the kennel (she is getting old and it wouldn't be nice). Ugh! So much looking forward to nothing. And I really need that time with my husband to get back in the groove of the relationship.

Friends for many years -- 36 to be exact. Where does the time go???

I don't actually have many friends that I feel I can call in times of need. Sure, Rod and I have friends we enjoy getting together with, but the "real" friends are hard to come by.

I am grateful to have my friend Gretchen. She has been a great support to me during my time here in Las Vegas. It's great to have someone I can call anytime to vent, chat or just laugh. In fact, when I first moved here I remember calling Gretchen and crying about my situation. She was there for me and for that I will be ever thankful.

I don't think we cherish our friends nearly as much as we should. More importantly, I don't think we get together with them much. They are the bedrock of our being. They are the people with whom we can be our true selves and not worry about judgement. Sure, family should be that way, but sometimes family carries baggage that hinders our enjoyment of togetherness.

There is mother's day, and father's day and even secretaries day. Today I am celebrating Friends Day and feeling grateful that, in addition to my wonderful family, I have Gretchen.