Christmas from the heart

I suppose one of the good things about having little money is the creative things we give at Christmas.

I made some necklaces from trellis ribbon and a crochet hook, knit a sweater and some socks, baked a ton of cookies.  Rod made birdhouses and garden signs.  Frankly, I enjoy this method of gift giving.  And, I really enjoy receiving homemade gifts.

This year, in addition to the gifts Rod made for me, my brother-in-law and his fiancee made pecan toffee (so damn good I had to ask for it again after receiving some last year) and chai tea.  Wow!  It's delicious (and I'm thinking of making another cup).

Back in the day, kids used to make stuff in art class or the regular classroom for their parents to give at Christmas or mother's day or father's day.  I enjoyed getting the little marigold sprout or the poem about how fast kids grow up.  It's been years since I got that, obviously because the kids are older, but it is so nice to receive a gift from the heart.

Pictures will be posted in the near future.

Two questions on everyone's mind:  Why?  When will the gun laws change?

Frankly, I don't think there is an answer to why the shootings occurred in Connecticut last week.  I heard one person today suggesting that the shooter was in a rage because he is a vegan and was grossly disgusted about others killing.  Well, that just makes no sense, does it?

I am no psychiatrist, but I believe why the shootings occurred is rooted in the fact that people are more and more unhappy and unable to cope.  Just a glance in the public school classroom and you'll see that no one may speak sharply to students -- they have fragile psyches.  However, these same students  are also quite mean. We need to find a way to be more sympathetic or empathetic to those around us.  When did caring go out of style?

As for the gun laws, I don't know what to say.  The shooter did not own a gun.  His mom did.

I would like tougher laws against people who use guns improperly.  That includes those whose guns are used by others to do harm.  It's true that in this particular instance the woman who owned the guns wouldn't face the courts, but if people were more SAFE with their weapons, and stored them more securely, perhaps this wouldn't have happened.

This senseless killing is scaring me.  We are not a very pleasant society yet we fail to look closely in the mirror to see what we can do to stop the tragedy.

I have been 50 for more than a week.  I don't like where I am and need to make change.

The first order of business is to lose weight and inches.  I am downright embarrassed about how I look. When I look at pictures of myself when I was young (about 20 years ago), I am amazed by how thin my legs were.  Goodness.  Who knew?  I did not.  In fact, I was as self-conscious then as I am now (though then I did not worry so much about my clothes since they ALL fit).  So, come the new year it's diet time.  I do not have a goal in mind, I just want all the clothes in my closet to fit well.

The holidays is the worse time to diet so I'm not going to start yet, but I do need to get moving.  That I can do any day.  Starting today I will be walking DAILY.  I would additionally like to start some basic weight training.  Sculpted arms are sexy.

Next, I need to work on my professional life.  Currently I have none and it's making me depressed.  I am also conflicted about my previous profession.  I like teaching but have serious concerns about teaching in general.  We allow kids to get away with so much and ask them to do so little.  Ugh.  It's tiring just thinking about it.  But what else am I going to do?  Well, for starters, I am just going to apply to jobs that are interesting to me.  Today I am filling out an application to work part-time for town hall.  What the hell, if nothing else it'll give me some insight into this nutty town.

Most importantly, I need to find acceptance.  I need to accept who I am but accept others as well.  While my daughter is an awesome person on her terms (and I don't take the credit for it), I need to recognize that my son's issues are his and not a reflection on me as an individual.  He needs something that I don't fully understand yet.  The best I can do for him is be supportive of the good stuff he does, recognize what help I should provide, and be firm when his behavior demands it.  That's all I can do.

So, here we go.  I have a lot on my plate.  It's time to make change.

When I was in high school, all the "cool" kids had a backgammon board they carried around.  Needless  to say, when I had money, I bought one for Rod and me even though the game had gone out of style.  Still, it's a good game to play, if you need something to do.  As we needed this week.

Tyler wanted to play backgammon and I was game (no pun intended).  He handily beat me in the first game -- it made him hungry for another round.  The dice, however, were with me in the second round and I beat Tyler easily.  Worse, he twice rolled a double six but couldn't move because his man was out on the bar.  Boy did that make him steamed.  Tyler lost.  And is he a sore loser!!!

What makes some kids easily handle losing while others struggle with it?  I am not generally a sore loser (though some Wii games aggravate me because I cannot get the gismo to do what I want it to do), but I am also not terribly competitive.  Tyler is a sore loser (always has been) and he is also not competitive.  What makes us behave as we do?  More importantly, is there something I could have done as a parent to make Tyler more easily handle losing?

I hope later today Tyler will be ready for another game of backgammon.  While there is luck involved, he also needs to start learning strategy.  Perhaps being able to see what's happening in the game and knowing the risks will make him more readily accept what happens.

I don't think there are many people who would argue against the need for school reform.  The trouble, however, is determining what needs to be reformed.

In my small community, it was obvious five years ago that there was a problem.  Since we are a district that merges with two other communities at the high school level, it is easy to see and compare the differences between the various districts.  While I don't remember the dividing line so clearly when I was in school, I have seen it in the last 15 years.  Just a look at the top ten students in the high school graduating class indicates that we -- the home district -- are below the other districts.  This is a big deal because the home district also has the most students.  I am no numbers person, but if we are contributing the most students, shouldn't we have the higher proportion of those at the top?

So, in this little district the academic achievement needs to be addressed.  Personally, I think it can start with discipline.  A substitute in the local school is not afforded the same level of respect noticed in the neighboring district of Garrison.  When I enter the class in Garrison, the students expect me to instruct them and they willingly participate.  That is the culture of the school.  In our district, the culture dictates that the substitute is there to manage the class.  If, every day a student has a sub that's the lesson, imagine how much instruction our home children are missing.

Inner city schools have their own issues.  Migrant students are one issue.  Kids who do not stay in the same school over a school year (say, moves from one school to another to another) cannot get the same education as a student who is present on a regular basis.  A policy can heap the load of responsibility on the teacher, but if the student does not come to school, can we really expect a teacher to get the job done?

I believe teachers need to be held accountable.  But we need to clearly define what students need before we can determine if the teacher is providing that.  If a kid needs to get to school, let's measure that first. If kids are hungry, then offer food.  If kids need medical assistance, give it to them.  The bottom line is it's not just the teachers who make a difference.  The American Educational System is failing because it wants a one-size-fits-all policy.  If it doesn't recognize that students are individuals, then the billions we dump into the system is just going to the sewer.

Reform.  One school at a time.