Being far from home has its obvious problems, but the biggest one is not being able to be with friends when they need it most.

As I approach 50 I guess my friends will begin to lose their parents.  It's sad.  We move through life thinking we've got it under control, then a death occurs and suddenly it throws you back some years.  At least that's how it feels now.  My dear friend Gretchen lost her father today.  It was sudden.  In some respects, that's easier to swallow.  He died in peace and pain free.  But the family is left with what's behind.  When you consider that the family dynamics are not the greatest, the stress of grief can tug at the seams of the family structure.

Gretchen, seemingly the weak link -- unmarried with two children and struggling to make ends meet in Manhattan, has stepped forward and shown her leadership skills.  She has clarity of purpose that would make her father proud.

We show who we are, not on a daily basis, but when the chips are down and it's either sink or swim.  I am saddened that my friend has lost a father.  But in so doing, she seems to have found her voice.  So, my prayers to the Schell family.

I did something today that I rarely do -- took a nap. I came home from work and wanted to get some stuff done but felt beat. Frankly, I have been feeling very tired every day when I come home from work. Since I have nothing else going on here, I slept. For about an hour and a half. Gosh, that felt good. Even better? I feel tired now and it's only about 9PM.

Sleep is a difficult thing to get. We all feel as though we need more, but where can we find it? The older I get the more my sleep patterns tend to stay in holding. So, even if I go to bed late, I still arise early. Bottom line, I don't necessarily catch up on missed sleep. It's for that reason that I'm glad I napped. (Earlier this week I went to bed at 8:30 PM)

When I go home for the Ben Harper concert on Oct. 1st I will arrive at 12:30 am (9:30 PST). Poor Rod will be out getting me and he won't be able to catch up on his sleep. Now he is a guy who really has definite sleep patterns. Even when we were driving across the country, in different time zone, and no schedule to speak of, Rod got up early every day.

I hope I find a "clock" soon. Perhaps, because I am so unsettled and feel bored in my apartment I am feeling tired more easily. I know that the job itself, while difficult to get back into the groove, is not too bad. The students do what I tell them to do and for the most part are respectful. This is a much better experience than the one I had last year. Still, I feel stress because I am moving soon and am still waiting for my car to arrive from NY -- actually, I am still waiting for it to ship from NY.

Word has it that the neighborhood where I'm moving is wonderful. The leasing agent told me all about the Y nearby, but I didn't really give it much thought. Until today when the librarian at my school was raving about it and the library that's near my new apartment. So, I guess things will feel much better when I leave this place that constantly reminds me of the horror-that-was-last-year.

And, of course, I hope I will feel a little more awake.

Happy Labor Day weekend.

I hate being a technology dunce. There is so much I want to do for my students, but I am stuck with my limited knowledge of how to build something as supposedly simple as a powerpoint. What's worse is that even though I printed instructions, they were absolutely no help at all. I really learn best by watching, doing and taking very meticulous notes.

Sure, I suppose some would think I should just find another means of getting the information across, but the truth of the matter is that I feel hampered by my own inability to get a good job done. I am grateful that where I work there will be classes offered -- for free if I don't need or want the credit -- on powerpoint, excel and word. I desperately need this help. It's just around the corner. But, I have a lesson I am dying to teach.

I don't know why I'm this slow. I want to be able to do these things, but I have never really learned. To make matters worse, I lived in a household with a kid who definitely knew how to do these things. Why didn't I ever tap into that source? Oh well, live and learn.