The age old question: why does the weekend pass so quickly?

At least this is the last weekend here for a while. I am truly looking forward to returning home and being in an east coast state of mind. Living in a red state is making me see red.

I hate sitting around wondering what else I could have gotten done. Frankly, I just want to board my plane and get out of dodge. I did my lesson plans but I really feel like toast about now. I need some me time. I need some mental rest. I need to just be with my family. Mostly, I need to stop feeling so stressed out about my job.

The word in Clark County is that the superintendent wants teachers to get bad evaluations so he can let them go. I wish they'd just leave me alone -- I was going anyway. Why am I being punished so? I get a lot of advice, but I am so upset I don't even know what to do. Should I hire an attorney to push back? Should I let the ineffective union know what's going on? Should I just pass all these kids? Should I continue to teach or should I let kids coast?

Teaching has become a job that is just too hard for me. I enjoy being with students, but the administrators don't deal with kids; they deal with numbers. So, learning is not important. This is really breaking my spirit. What is the right thing to do????

Just 79 days left. This has been the longest year. And in this year has been the longest week. I need to get out of this place and back among my people.

How much punishment can one person take? When does observation cross the line to harassment? It's how I'm feeling now -- four times observed this week. I am expecting to be observed again tomorrow. What the hell, they might just as well fire me.

I have been spinning my wheels and getting stressed as I fantasize about pay-back. Hmmm..... ideas anyone???

Good lord, what a day.

I was observed -- again -- today. I received two bad observations today, too. Honestly, it's a wonder that I was ever hired back to any job with the reviews I've been getting. Clark County doesn't have enough teachers, but clearly no one wants a bad teacher.

So, what next? I am so tired of the same crap. One observer reported that while students were working in groups (an area I'd done poorly on in the past), they were passing notes as I was circulating in the room. I was docked because my students arrived to class without their work completed (work that was supposed to have been finished during class time). Then, I was told to call the parents of students who: don't come to class prepared, with their homework, misbehave. Reality check: I started the year doing that and got no where.

All of these observations are a thinly veiled attempt by my boss to give me a bad review so he can just be a dick. What really pisses me off is that I have asked several times if it would be easier if I just left. Really. what more can I do? Despite the visits to other classes, I still see no real instruction happening. That's the difference between me and the other teachers. They give work but don't instruct. Keeping kids busy doesn't teach them anything. My students are actively learning -- I require them to participate, but they don't really know how to respect one another and me. Then of course I get in trouble because I have bad classroom management. The bottom line is one of philosophy -- sometimes, in my humble opinion, teaching kids is noisy and messy -- another philosophy would be to just pass them and keep 'em quiet. Not a line I care to buy in to.

How many days left????

So, I guess I can consider the official countdown to be here. This marks the last week of the third quarter. I have never felt so drained from one school year. I miss my husband. I miss my kids. I miss my bed. I miss my connections.

Still, here has been healthy for me. I feel more confident about being able to take care of myself by myself. That, to a certain extent, was the purpose for me to come here. Let's hope it translates well for a job when I get home.

A lot has happened in my absence. My boy became a teenager; my daughter graduated from college, got her first job and got accepted to graduate school. My relationship with my husband became stronger in places where I didn't even know needed strengthening. So, there are positives.

And I plug along.

I feel as though I've been living a good news/bad news life for the past month.

One month ago today I was flying high. I picked my husband up a the airport and we had three glorious nights together with two full days to enjoy each other's company. There was no pressure to do anything or see anyone. We did what we felt like doing and fully enjoyed each other's company. Then he left and things went downward.

Exactly one week after he left I had a bad car accident. The car I was driving was totaled. I am lucky to be "okay" but it's not been a bed of roses. I still have residual issues and I don't know what the heck is going on.

First, I went to the hospital for a bad back. The emergency fellows told me if my back was hurting at the scene, it would only get worse. So, off to the hospital I went (strapped to a backboard and rushed in an ambulance). Once at the hospital I was X-rayed (spelling?) and basically given a clean-ish bill of health. Because I had been experiencing dizziness, there was some discussion but it was determined that it was to be expected since I'd been on my back for over two hours. Here I am three weeks later and still I suffer from minor dizziness.

Anyway, I had to rent a car. Thankfully I am entitled to one through my auto insurance. Of course there was a catch -- they would only cover the cost of a small car. After having been t-boned on the highway, I was reluctant to get in a small vehicle. So, I had to pay $5.50 out of pocket per day for a larger vehicle. The car I rented was a Toyota Camry. I wanted it because it was so similar to my Rav4. When I got in the car, I noticed the low tire pressure light was on. I mentioned it to Mr. Enterprise and he said the car was fine; they were not able to determine, however, why the light was on. So, off I drove. To be home for an extended weekend in pain and miserable wondering "what next".

What was next was a visit to a lawyer (waste of time), doctor visits, and a trip to the tow yard where my car was. Yes, it was a total loss and I needed to get my things. However, since nothing was going my way, I had to go to DMV (everyone's favorite place ) to get a copy of my registration. Then back to the tow yard for my personal belongings. It was sad to see the inside of that car. Truly, I am lucky to be okay.

News of the total came on a Tuesday. Next thing, car shopping. that was painful since I could not find my car -- a front wheel drive Toyota Rav4. I went to 5 dealerships and made several phone calls before FINALLY getting my car. Mind you, in all this time I was teaching students and dealing with dizziness and exhaustion.

Where am I now? I have my car (a huge load off my shoulders) and am finished with the jackass who calls himself doctor. (Really, when I told the doctor that I was still experiencing dizziness, he asked what the physical therapist had to say. Who is the doctor?????) On Monday I have an appointment with the physical therapist -- again -- to continue work on my neck and lower back. I plan on getting an appointment with the physical therapist who specializes in dizziness.

Today I attended a full day workshop on vocabulary development. Still I am tired and looking forward to getting home in two weeks. The month since I last saw Rod seems unending. Knowing that I have two more weeks is pushing me to my limits.